We are social creatures. Alone and locked away in solitary confinement is worse than death.
All very strange. All our dark feelings of guilt and shame. Moral feelings, we are born with a moral compass. This feeling of shame which arises when we break accepted social norms. Guilt, being indebted to someone. The need for redemption - something that can not be done alone.
The English word 'violate' has some of the harshest synonyms we can imagine; encroach upon, disregard, desecrate, transgress, dishonor.
We need to ask forgiveness - sometimes through a faith and a religion that offers us reconciliation through rituals. Sometimes from those we have hurt. Hard-won skills makes us functioning living human beings - shame, guilt, forgiveness, reconciliation and redemption.
Solitary confinement in prison is cruel and inhumane. No love, no forgiveness. A social punishment more than anything else. Time alone will bring you redemption. The theory is that after the punishment you are free from guilt. You have atoned for your crime - but possibly also lost your mind and ability to live in loving relationships with others.
Canadian doctor and researcher Gabor Maté thinks a lot about experienced trauma in childhood and what it results in. "Why do we get disconnected from our true self? Because it's too painful to be ourselves."
Cover image from the film Blue Valentine with Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams. Magnificent drama up close, human, trivial, fragile and so very very alive.