We are social creatures. Alone and locked away in solitary confinement is worse than death.

All very strange. All our dark feelings of guilt and shame. Moral feelings, we are born with a moral compass. This feeling of shame which arises when we break social norms we have accepted and made part of ourselves. Guilt, being in debt to someone, and the need for redemption - not something that can be done alone.

The English word 'violate' have synonyms that are some of the harshest and most violent words we have; encroach upon, violate, desecrate.

We need to ask for forgiveness - sometimes through a faith and a religion that offers us reconciliation through rituals. Sometimes from those we have hurt. Hard-won skills make us functioning living human beings - shame, guilt, forgiveness, reconciliation and redemption.

Solitary Confinement

Solitary confinement in prison is so terribly cruel and inhumane. No love, no forgiveness. A social punishment more than anything else. Time alone will bring you redemption. The theory is that after the punishment you are free from guilt. You have atoned for your crime - but possibly also lost your mind and ability to live in loving relationships with others.

Canadian doctor and researcher Gabor Maté thinks a lot about experienced trauma in childhood and what it results in.  "Why do we get disconected from our true self? Because  it's too painful to be ourselves."

Cover image from the film Blue Valentine with Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams. Magnificent drama up close, human, trivial, fragile and so very very alive.

Blue Valentine 2010 - Ryan Gosling, Michelle Williams
Blue Valentine 2010 - Ryan Gosling, Michelle Williams
Blue Valentine 2010 - Michelle Williams
Blue Valentine 2010 - Ryan Gosling, Michelle Williams